Gawd you guys.

Today was awesome. I had my company picnic (barbecue ribs, omg), won $30 in free gas and then went to the Mallard's game with 40 of my closest business associates and their various families and hangers-on.

The Mallards are the local minor league baseball team in Madison. They have silly contests and diversions between innings, today we saw a bunch of kids dressed in fruit costumes have a race, an air guitar contest, and a dance-off in sumo costumes. Three fully-grown men raced across the diamond on tricycles to win a free oil change. Every foul ball you turn in at the concession stand earns you a free hot dog, so every time there was a foul ball the announcer (who was all super-baseball voice to hilarious effect) would call out "weiner". It took several repetitions to figure out why he kept saying it.

There was a vendor who came around a lot, a younger guy, who kept yelling his spiel in the same order. "Peanuts! Sunflower seeds! Popcorn! Beef sticks!". The people near us caught on and then every time he came back they all yelled along for "BEEF STICKS!". Eventually our whole section was, and everyone just about shat themselves laughing.

Probably you had to be there.

And we won (7 to 4, they didn't score until the 8th inning) and we saw a grand slam.

I wasn't sure if I would like it but it was totally fun and I would do it again.

Today I feel a bit like someone who is surfacing after being underwater for a long time. I have been so busy trying to accomplish so much and I've been putting aside things that I care about. Things that make me happy to be alive. This was productive and necessary, and I'm glad I did. But I am also glad that I get to relax a little now, to focus on things that are also productive, but that I enjoy more. Working that hard is possible, and I could have done it for a lot longer.

But it is not super fun.

So hooray for a day in which I did only the following: Shopped for clothes (3 shirts, new skirt), went to the company picnic, and came home and watched a terrible movie (Hot Rod) with Brian. Now it's sleepytime and everything is fabulous.

I hope you all are well.
~me

Fotos of last weekend's adventures are still pending, I have to obtain consent from the other person involved before I paste photos of her looking drunk all over the internet.

I finally figured out that they sell PERMANENT and not just "waterproof" black india ink. Duh.

So I obtained some:



They call it "Eternal"

It works really well, I did the experiment below and then colored over it with Prismacolor markers to see if it would bleed or not.



The verdict is that there is absolutely no bleeding or smudging, which is AWESOME. The other verdict is that I can't dip my nib into water when I use this stuff because the water absorbs into the paper weird and creates a halo around the ink lines. Good to know.

Here is the long-promised picture of the army that Joe raised to intimidate our household. Sadly it stopped at this point so we didn't get to follow through with our My Little Ponies and army men:



Here is an abandoned grocery store:



And I don't know if I ever posted this, it is a pig at a picnic being upset because they served bacon AND THAT WAS HIS MOM YOU GUYS.


~me

1

Today I took Cassidy on a walk for a few miles. We talked about going to high school, feet, and women's rights.

We had tacos for dinner, which we ate outside on the back deck having purchased a little table and some chairs for just this purpose. We played Scrabble by tiki torchlight.

Now Cassidy is playing Zelda Twilight Princess and it is bedtime. I think I managed to wring some living out of today. Since I'm a bit wound up, there will be a stolen post.

( of tape Love sometimes breaks off before you were done Another way that love is similar to tape That I've noticed Is sometimes it's hard to see the end You search on the roll (search on the roll) Search on the roll (searching round the roll) Search on the roll (search) With your fingernail Again and again And again and again And again. )

Brian is such a sneaky bastard.

Last night we discovered another ant infestation (always) this time in the cupboards. There will be no ants for days and then one day you will come upstairs to hundreds of the fucking bastards. So he sprayed the shit out of the cupboard and was too tired to stay up and clean it up properly (it was around 1 a.m.) so there are dead ants lying around and being dead.

Not a big deal, I was planning to clean it up after work today. Anyway.

I got off of work and he called me right away. Saying in his serious voice, "Katie, you must clean the cupboard please, it is gross and unsanitary. I'm sorry, but we've just gotta.". I said sure, he kept saying he was so sorry I had to clean it and I kept saying it wasn't a big deal, whatever, I planned on it all day.

So he offers to buy me dinner because he's so sorry I have to clean up his mess because he's working tonight. I'm thinking "dude, whatever about cleaning ants, it's not that bad once you've done it a few thousand times" at the same time as I'm thinking "score, awesome steak dinner for me!". So I say sure, buy me dinner. Someone offers to buy me a steak, I'm not going to argue with them.

So I go pick it up to go from his work and his co-workers are all going "dude, I hear you have to clean up a bunch of nasty ants?". "Aw man, Brian feels really bad about that. But it won't be THAT bad, right?" "I'm so sorry you have to do that". At least 4 people came over and mentioned it.

I thought it was odd that they found this fact so interesting and sympathetic. I mean, it's not a tragedy or anything, it's just cleaning up a mess.

So I leave, stop at Home Depot on the way home to buy that ant bait stuff and kill the fuckers where they live. Sprinkled some around, got distracted because there was a loose dog in the neighborhood. I tried to catch it so it wouldn't get hit by a car but it was skittish and escaped my clutches. Tried to call Animal Control. Animal Control is fail.

(I feel bad about this. In my life I have successfully wrangled many a loose neighborhood dog and returned him safe home to his owners. I consider it an important thing to do as a former dog owner who has had her dog escape and had it returned safely. So that was lame and I hope it's okay, it was limping. I tried to be soothing and not intimidating but it was obviously afraid of me. No collar. Small and white, maybe part poodle or spaniel?)

Anyway. I will have white dog guilt dreams tonight, probably. I digress.

(Is "white dog guilt" like "white guilt"? Discuss.)

I came back inside to eat my takeout and I open the carton (neatly labeled "six ounce sirloin, shrimp") to find a brand new copy of The Sims 3.

(And steak and shrimp in another box underneath it)

The motherfucker.

He wrote on the inside of the box that he was going to clean up the ants himself and that I should have a nice evening and relax.

*insert world's biggest grin here*

Never let anyone tell you that Brian is not a romantic man. Once in high school he filled my entire car with balloons. The first time he ever asked me out he had strangers give me flowers all day long.

Love is awesome, man. T'will be ten years in September.

Sadly my disk drive isn't working, but the house is messy and it's bugging me so I'm cleaning and I just paid all my bills. I'm listening to music and singing along and having a grand old time. It's a beautiful night!
~me

I updated Kandeart_comm! With a picture of a cranky bird! You know you've gotta see that action!



Sketch pictures and everything!

I wrote a paper and then I drew an intricate pen-and-ink bird and now I can breathe again.

Life lately has been both terrifyingly momentous and utterly humdrum.

Is that vague enough for you?

Tonight I made dinner for Brian. I kept fucking it up. I had the water too hot to thaw the salmon. I cooled it down but then the drain got blocked and it got waterlogged.

This is exactly what you want to do with a nice piece of fish if you like your fish to be fragile, half sink-cooked, and waterlogged.

(Which has always been my favorite way to enjoy salmon)

Then I learned that our little bottle of dill is a flip top, not a screw top. I learned this by unscrewing the top and dumping about 1/3 of the bottle directly onto a single fillet.

I always did learn best by experience.

Then I undercooked the broccoli, overcooked the onions and mushrooms. I broke our pepper grinder on the floor, turned the potatoes orange with paprika.

But mission accomplished, because now I am not hungry.



My culinary prowess is surpassed only by my grace.

Now it is far too hot in here and I made the cardinal mistake of doing all of the above while wearing polar fleece pajama pants. I am currently enjoying a Capital Island Wheat (purely medicinal, to stave off heat stroke) and hatching plans to color in that pen and ink bird, since it should be dry by now.
~me

1

I am quiet lately. It's not so much that there's nothing to talk about, it's that there's too much to talk about. And I don't feel amusing. So I'm not going to make myself write until I feel like it.

Anyway, this is a stolen post.

( Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it. Look what it's done so far....... )

I tried googling "breasts drool father son convertible women" and you don't even want to KNOW what kind of Google results I had.

Brian needs to know this. This is a direct quote:

"There is a father and a son trying to get somewhere. I don't know where. Somehow they meet two women, a mother and a daughter? Question mark? And they have a convertible? So... they drive somewhere. I don't know where. And.. and at the end of the drive the son and daughter get out of the back seat.. and he was sleeping on her bosom Boobs! and she wipes drool from her boobs.

WHAT IS THAT? It might be a movie, it might be a tv special, it might be a Christmas thing. I don't know. I really have no idea other than that. I think the father might be a cross between Chevy Chase and like... I don't know... What's that guy from Postman? What's that dude's name? Not Mel Gibson. Maybe Chevy Chase or some dude like that."

"Leslie Neilsen?"

"Who's that?"

"The guy from Naked Gun"

"No not that guy. One of those father guys like National Lampoons. I think it might be Chevy chase. Maybe. I'm not sure. The son reminds me in the head of Malcom in the Middle? He had shaggy hair? Question mark? Double question mark??"

He's seriously calling everybody he knows. And nobody knows!
~me

I got my grade for my first University of Phoenix class.

I ended up with a 99.25%. It probably says something about my personality that when I think of that score it totally irks me. I think it's because it's not even a whole point that I lost. Three quarters of a point? Really? Can't you just round up and call it a 100? Or round me down to a 99?

It doesn't really matter, but it bothers me like a little piece of sand caught in my shoe. Anyway, I'm glad that even my semi-halfassed labors can still earn an A. It's just like high school and CSU!

/bragging and arrogance

---

Last night I dreamed I was in downtown New York running across a huge street trying to get away from my high school reunion, but once I'd crossed I realized my shoes were missing. They had fallen off in the middle of the street. The light was in the process of changing to let the traffic go, but I decided to run to try and save my shoes anyway. Passers-by yelled and tried to stop me. As I reached the middle of the street I kept seeing cars bear down on me, sure I was about to be hit but miraculously I somehow dodged them. My orthodics fell out of my shoes and I kept dropping things.

I was dancing and darting in my socks among the cars, gracefully dodging them as I collected my footwear. At one point I did a back handspring off the hood of a cab, landed in a crouch to grab my orthodic, and did a flip back onto the curb before realizing I had dropped the shoe mid-flip and it was back in the middle of the street.

For all my efforts going to get them I certainly had a hard time holding onto them. Whatever that means.

---

Is "racked up" a real expression? Whenever I was seriously injured as a kid my parents always said I was racked up, but I just used the expression with a co-worker and had to explain it and she looked at me like I'm crazy.

Poll #1410933
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Is "racked up" a commonly-used-not-crazy expression meaning "injured"

I've been polling co-workers and so far the consensus seems to be "your parents just didn't want to say 'fucked up'". I feel pretty dumb as I've been using the expression with regularity for the last 20 years or so.

What would "racked up" even mean? What rack are we referring to? Racks used to stretch people in the Spanish inquisition? Maybe a luggage rack for a car? Are injured people stored on racks? Does this refer to those refrigerated body storage drawers in hospital morgues? What?

Someone explain pls.
~me

Ha, any more I get to the end of the day and when it comes time to maybe write something I just go GAWD I don't know, I just talked to narcissuskisses about everything important or interesting, can't you all just tag along behind us while we walk or something?

Ya'll are some lazy stalkers. Seriously, get on the stick.

So um. I just began doing the reading for my next class at U of P which starts in just over a week. It's about the IT department in business, how it works and why it's important and the like. I am excited because it will be very relevant to my daily life. I live with an IT guy. I work with IT people at my job. My brothers and father are IT-interested people. They are my TRIBE, my digerati, my online community! Did you ever knoooow that you're my heeeeeeerooooooo? And everything I would like to beeeeeeee?

Anyway. Also I know now that TPS reports are real things, so there's a little Office Space connection for you.

(Also I have a Swingline stapler at work. I used to have a Corporate Express one but I traded it. Sadly it is not red, but I have to have dreams of acquisition to aspire to, otherwise what is this little capitalist consumerist life for?)

It is refreshing to read textbooks that talk about Google, business developments as recently as 2008 (though things have changed so much since then!) and that emphasize globalization and the flattening of the market.

I've been interested to see how my own functions in my job work across various business units (I was already aware of it but it's neat to read about it) and how the way I use information is different from the way other people in the organization do. I do a lot of mid-level management functions in my job presently, data analysis and the like, which was nice to have validated by my textbook.

Basically I just have a total geeky boner for business stuff and I need to go stick my head in a bucket of ice because this is nowhere near as interesting to other people, probably.

Dangling modifier. Whateva, that's how I roll.

SO ANYWAY. THAT IS A THING. I have all kinds of plans for doing the rest of my reading (there is a lot of reading) and writing my paper before the tenth. Time management is not really that bad when you have a plan. YOU TOO CAN ACCOMPLISH 55 HOUR WEEKS, GOING TO SCHOOL, AND ONLY OCCASIONALLY FALLING ASLEEP AT INOPPORTUNE OR DANGEROUS TIMES! Yes! I got up at 5:30 this morning! Really! All you need is a really good spreadsheet and a prioritized to-do list!

I like spreadsheets

So yes. That was some words, rather a few of them.

I hope that was fun for you, as now I have decided to eat some food and do some sit-ups and maybe paint my nails. Though not necessarily in that exact order.
~me

Goodness but I'm grumpy. I had four espresso shots and work and fell asleep immediately upon arriving home.

I guess this is as good a time as any for a stolen post.

1

( amputees with stamp collections )

I got back from South Dakota last night, had a good visit and did a lot of work.

I found this crazy guy, who I am calling the bearvark:



He was on a pile of rusty car parts in my grandparents' basement. He's apparently mechanical as he's all full of gears and his legs move, but he doesn't seem to be working now. He's my new favorite thing.

My grandpa is well, we hung out for a little while a few times. He is tired and not feeling awesome, but we were able to fix some things in his room. He's always been sweet and kind and this visit was no exception.

( pictures and stuff under here )

This is my impression of me lately: ANGERSTRESScalmSTRESSsleepyHUNGRYsleepySTRESSgratitudeandsanctimonySTRESSOMGILOVELOST!!

(+++++) Financial aid modification went through. There is to be no $6,000 shortfall and subsequent dropping out of college.

(++) Had my first review at the coffee place. Am their hero, they want me to train people, and I am officially allowed to redo all of the signs because I did such a good job fancy-lettering the upcoming tastings board.

(-) Feet hurt. Tired. Whining.

(+++) Scheduled much-needed haircut. Look much the ragamuffin.

(-/+) I work at 7 am the next two days. It will make me more tired but it's two hours of overtime. Overtime is the biz-omb.

(--) Getting together with my group for college tomorrow night to write our paper/make our presentation. It will probably take about 4-5 hours. We're planning to have pizza and such but it's going to be a bit of a slog. Then I just write one more paper and this class is essentially over.

(+) THEN I GET A WEEK OFF FROM SCHOOL! SUMMER VACATION WOO!

(+) Am a sophomore for my next class (business information systems) and will have a more competent team and more rigorous subject matter. Or at least somewhat relevant subject matter.

(+/-) Going solo to South Dakota for the long weekend to put lots of things in dumpsters and visit my grandfather. Am looking forward to the sunshine, sweat and exercise, seeing the fam. Am not looking forward to staying in a hotel (allergies to grandma's house) or being in such close proximity without my own room to retreat to and close the door.

(-----) Having a small business is stressful. If someone has a spare bucket of sand I would much appreciate the opportunity to bury my head in it.

(++) I have a big glass of ice water. Mmmmmmmmm! Delicous!


~me

Ohhh dear.

I just finished writing my second "real" paper for school and it kind of made me want to kick myself in the face. It was mostly procedural, I needed to describe how I would solve a given problem, how I would evaluate sources, things to keep in mind. I wrote about improving your credit rating, since it's something I know a lot about and that we've been working on. That way I could learn useful things while evaluating articles for research.

Did you know the average person could save $1,600 per year simply by managing their finances more effectively? This is a skill I've really improved on, since I started budgeting very carefully over a year ago. Before I wasted so much money by not being careful. Not $1,600 a year, but lots of little things add up. Like coffee: apparently I am responsible for 3% of the GDP of Coloumbia. Who knew?

For some reason I couldn't find anything to use as a scholarly peer-reviewed source for the longest time and ended up spending at least an hour clicking and being frustrated. Why can't my database understand me like Google understands me? Google and I are bff.

Google scholar is a very good start, it was marginally more useful for searching at any rate, but is only for indexing articles. Which is useful but somewhat cumbersome. I think in the future I'll use Google scholar to locate sources by my databases to actually look up full text in most cases.

Everyone got bored at least 3 sentences ago. SORRY! BACK TO NON-BORING TOPICS (MAYBE).

So databases are annoying but the paper is written. Now I just have to edit. Editing is the fun part.

ONE LAST SCHOOL THING: For APA format I have to space only once after a period. I learned to type at age 7. When I took typing class they always strictly enforced that we would space TWICE after a period. I've been doing this for some 19 years and it's like I'm physically incapable of not hitting space twice after a period. Muscle memory. And because I type really fast I never realized I fucked up the spacing until several words later when I don't want to backspace. So I have to always remember to go back and fix it.

(Wah wah waaaah I am going to whine while also subtly backdoor bragging about my typing speed.)

I should try to start singlespacing everying from now on to give myself practice.

Brian and I bought a whole bunch of fancy cleaning supplies. We've lived in this duplex for about 3 years now and it needs some attention. Today my goal is to sweep and mop the living room and then use this nice floor polish our landlord bought for us. Then I'm going to spackle over all of the places where I abused the walls by putting big gouges in them while trying to install shelving.

(So many gouges. I am a wall abuser. Habitually. Lock me up, I'm a danger to drywall everywhere!)

I'm quite excited.

I worked yesterday, drank way too much caffeine and ended up wanting to jump up and down like a hyperactive child a lot. Instead I worked with much energy and vim and vigor and kind of wore myself out. I enjoy cleaning stuff at work. I spent the evening with friends, all just relaxing and having dinner, doing bits on the computer and playing guitar hero. I bought my favorite beer (Capital Island Wheat) and there are a few left over that I'm quite looking forward to.

I got my iPhone connected as a phone and to 3G after work on Friday. The prettiest woman in the world set it up for me. So pretty! She had choppy black hair and freckles and beautiful bone structure. It must be weird to be attractive at that level, to have people always a bit more willing to indulge you because you're especially nice to look at.

I digress.

iPhone is happy. I can check email while I'm STILL IN BED. The entire world is made of sunshine and rainbows.


~me

Five Years of Kiwikat.livejournal.com: A Look Back in Horror

Hi ya'll. As the smarter ones among you have realized by reading the title, my journal is five years old today.

When I started this journal I had no idea what I was doing or who I should be talking to, and no lj-friends. I was depressed, lonely, drifting and feeling pretty downtrodden and pointless. The first entry included such gems as:

-Statement of purpose in starting a journal. Namely that I was lonely and depressed and I figured that writing a journal might be helpful.
-Naming the following seven categories as my ideal topics for Jeopardy, an idea I got from Douglas Coupland's book Microserfs:

ani difranco lyrics
ben and jerry's ice cream flavors
the sims
my ridiculously large panty collection
simpsons south park or seinfeld
the lyrics to every song, ever
your ass or a hole in the ground

I thought I was so clever. Half of these really no longer apply, or have nothing to do with things that are important to me any more. Also I rarely tell people about my underwear any more because a)attention whore much? b) I'm married so you're never gonna see 'em anyway.

In re-reading I was struck that there are seeds of who I would be today but that mostly I feel like a completely different person than the person I was back then.

In the last five years I've gone from working at my first office job to working for a really good company and going to school for my bachelor's. Gone from 0 online friends to 156 mutual friends. Made lots of friends in real life, started a business, lost two grandmothers, been robbed 5 times. Gotten over depression. Lost 40 pounds. Figured out what I want to do for my career. Bought my first two brand new cars, been hit by 2 drunk drivers. Started my art website and been more successful and I ever dared hope.

I've figured out how to be grateful and happy most of the time.

A few of you submitted some questions which I attempted to answer thoughtfully. ( they are under the cut )

AND!



( I have updated the comment stats, see where you stand five years in! )
~me

Early this morning I had a nosebleed. Now I can't stop sneezing.

It's making for an exciting morning since approximately every 3rd sneeze starts my nose bleeding again and I'm wearing a white shirt. I go from calm to BLOOD EMERGENCY in 0.3 seconds flat.

If I make it through the day without ruining my outfit I'll eat my hat.

Well, I don't have a hat to eat. But I will be incredulous at my mad bloodstain avoidance skillz and maybe sacrifice something to the gods of bleach.

They can have some raisins or half of my current cup of tea.

Since tomorrow is my five year blogoversary (blog anniversary!) I am opening the floor for questions. Ask me something interesting or weird or humorous or that has been bugging you!

Comments are screened so ask whatever fool thing pops into your head without fear of reprisal from the other readers.

Because that's how I roll.
~me